Heritage Album

What is the etiquette on heirloom engagement rings these days?

I'd like to propose to my girlfriend and my mother gave me a ring passed down from my grandmother. On one hand, I don't want to disappoint my mother. And on another hand, I feel like I should pay something for the ring I give my future bride. Plus, I'm worried that she'll feel the same way. Thoughts?

Public Comments

1. my opion, as a female the ring would mean more to me if it was passed down, this would show me not only that u luv me and want to marry me but that u think im special enough to give me something that is deaar to ur family
2. I would actually love to have an heirloom engagement ring. It just seems so much more intimate to me. I don't see a reason in paying ridiculous amounts. I like simple, meaningful things. But that's just me. I don't know anything about your girlfriend.
3. I totally agree....If my partner proposed with a ring that belonged to his grandmother, i would feel very privileged to wear it! It shows that you think she is special enough to wear a family heirloom. I think thats lovely.
4. I agree with "the paint..." It would mean more to me than one purchased and it also sends a message that your family is also very much on board. You can spend lots of money on the wedding band if it makes you feel better. Hey, you just saved some money that can go towards the wedding or the honeymoon. Good Luck.
5. The main thing you should worry about is whether your bride will like it. Not her style? Then don't give it to her. If you have any doubt, surprise her with a proposal (give her her favorite flowers instead of a ring), then present her with your heirloom ring and see if she'd prefer that over a new ring. Some women might.
6. You don't need to pay to show you you love her and want to marry her. She will probably think it's really special that your mother and grandmother wanted her to have that ring (it means they approve of her!) Have it cleaned before you give it to her to make it really sparkly. But if you really think it's not her style or if you really had your heart set on buying her one, then just talk to your mom about it. She might seem disappointed at first, but I'm sure she would understand.
7. heirloom is so meaningful and it shows your mother wants her to be your wife which means even more!!!! Plus you can buy the band or unless its heirloom too:)
8. I don't think you should feel that you need to pay for a ring. My engagement ring is an heirloom... kinda. His paternal grandma gave him the diamond out of her ring and also 10 other smaller diamonds from his maternal grandmas jewelry (who is passed away). So they used the diamonds from both sides of his family but had them set in a new ring. It definitely feels nice, knowing that his family supports our relationship and it means a lot to me to have something that both of his grandmothers treasured. The only problem I forsee, is that your girlfriend doesn't like the style of the ring. It sounds a little materialistic, but no one wants to wear something that they think is unattractive. Also, you need to find out your girlfriend's ring size. Certain rings styles make it difficult to resize! Just a few things to think about. Good luck!!
9. My ring is an heirloom. For me, the ring is all about its meaning, not how much my husband paid for it (or not). This particular ring was a family ring that my husband's mother left before she died, hoping that my husband would one day marry. The meaning behind this ring, and the connection to the mother in law I never got a chance to meet, are priceless to me. I wear this old, inexpensive ring proudly and happily.
10. A- You're probably going to have to pay to have the ring re-sized. B-If she doesn't like it, you'll have to pay money for a new setting for the stone. C- I always wanted a really fantastic dress...;. if you want, you could donate what you 'would' have spent on the ring towards her dress budget, so that she can get something nicer than what she may be able to afford now :) [Not that there's anything wrong with sensibly priced dresses-I just know that the ones I LOVED always cost more than what I could afford]
11. My fiance got his grandmother's wedding ring...I have no idea what it looked like, but he took the smaller 8 diamonds out of it and put them in the band of a ring with a new diamond center stone. It meant something to him (and me) to have part of his family's history in it, but also wanted it to be from him too. With the center stone of his grandmother's ring, he had a pendant made out of it to give to our future daughter. You can go to a jewelry store and have them design a ring to your liking and add in old diamonds. That way she can get something old and something new! good luck!!!
12. Mine was my grandmother's and he spent $2,100 on it and the wedding band combined. We wanted a bigger stone, and they needed to do some structural work and make it 'ours'.It basically had to be redone. So it is still my grandma's ring- he still spent some money on it- and it's exactly what I wanted. Best of both worlds.
13. Propose with the heirloom, and give her the choice to keep it, of to later go shopping for one that she'll like. Personally, I'm pretty sure I would love ANY ring I'd been given, and an heirloom has the added romance of history to it, but I also know that not everyone has the same taste in jewelry. So, give her the choice. Don't hold it against her if she chooses to get a new ring... Good Luck, and congratulations!