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Will my sons father be able to see my son without a contact centre when this goes to court next month?

I split up wit my sons father a year ago because he was very immature drinking too much and on drugs and he kicked me and my 6 month old son out!! I was letting him see our son until he decided to freaten my family and I had to geth the police involved! So in the best interests of my son because he is a very controlling and verbally violent man!! He then moved away 350 miles away from us n myself and solicitor made an offer to him of seeing his son once a month for a few hours until he got to know his dad him now being 16 months old and then it being moved into a contacted centre he declined this but still wanting to see my son with me being there and also taking me to court in the mean time I let him see my son for the past few months with me being there for 3 days letting him in my house transporting him around until I realised he was disrapecting me and the I said that I would no longer run round for him and take his controllingness as he started to try to controll visits and where we were going etc I said if he wanted to see his son he needed to find his own transport he kicked off at me in front of our son and I had to leave his meeting him early because it up set my son!! He has a criminal record, he drinks night before seeing our son even tho asked not to and drink is a problem with him because it turns him nasty, he takes drugs, his controlling a verbally agressive and I don't see it in my sons best interests to be manipulated by this man who says his going to tell our son wen his older how evil I am!!he is very unstable n tried to kill himself before moving away he lies to his solicitors and says what I am saying is untrue, he is on the birth certificate! He wants access of having my son at his parent (who my son doesn't know) for the week end every two week, birthdays Nd Christmas and the two weeks out of the summer! I am his full time career and his parents live 200 miles away from me!! Will a court give him unsupervised visits or will it have to go to a contact centre?? As I fear for my childs safety!! Please help!???! Thank u for ur help iv got evidence with the police as it's on record! I have evidence of things hee has said and written about me on the Internet I don't know if I can prove his drink and drug problem because the people he does that with will not give evidence for me as there his friends and family! Will this be enough as he is known as a liar I'm worried the court won't see through his lies and will believe him cos his very crafty lik that and it's not fair for my son his very advanced for his age and in a very good routine and I don't want him to put my son out of that and up set him. Thank u for ur help iv got evidence with the police as it's on record! I have evidence of things hee has said and written about me on the Internet I don't know if I can prove his drink and drug problem because the people he does that with will not give evidence for me as there his friends and family! Will this be enough as he is known as a liar I'm worried the court won't see through his lies and will believe him cos his very crafty lik that and it's not fair for my son his very advanced for his age and in a very good routine and I don't want him to put my son out of that and up set him.

Public Comments

1. Obviously you're very worried, and we can all see why. Unfortunately we can't give you a definite answer: the court can decide whatever it likes, from giving him no access at all, to giving him whatever access he requests. It really all depends on how each of you come across in court and what the court thinks the "real" version of things is. Clearly if they believe that he drinks and gets violent and is likely to do so while his son is in his care they will not give him unsupervised access. However your ex certainly knows this, and will do his best to appear like a model citizen. It's VERY important to discuss this with your solicitor, and to prepare EXACTLY what you're going to bring up. It's also important to have as much evidence of his behaviour as possible from people other than yourself - the police, friends, neighbours, etc, so that it makes it difficult for him to say that you're just making it up.
2. I am a bit confused are you your son's ft carer or his father's? It is extremely unlikely that the Court will allow unsupervised access as long as you voice your concerns & have some evidence to support this ie arrest record or convictions, drug paraphernalia etc. The Court acts in the CHILD'S best interest & will usually ask a social worker to do an assessment of the child/yourself/father. They will also try to mediate to agree access & this is usually gradual & reviewed every 3 months. Initial access will normally be supervised at a Contact Centre. My advice to you is to get yourself a good local solicitor who specialises in Family Law as it is likely it will cost you nothing under the Legal Aid scheme. If you do not know any, ask a friend or contact the Citizens Advice who can put you in touch with one. Stay strong for yourself & your child but stick to the rules & agreements. Good Luck! Further: It is likely that he will try to present gimself as "of good character". Can you refute this? You have police record/reports. Has the housing officer had any reason to intervene because of rows when he was there & now things are quieter? Neighbours might be willing to assist here. You have posts that he has made - these are good. You have evidence of his mood swings. The Courts are not stupid & will read between the lines but as a father, he will get access but likely supervised, esp as he needs to reform his bond with his child & your child needs to be seen to be comfortable with him. All contact would be local to your son not to him, he would be expected to do the travelling. It may transpire that he turns up to these visits or not or even turn up drunk/high but as they are supervised your child will be safe. If he is the sort of person he seems, he will quickly tire of sitting at a creche playing & will ring up sick. Just give him enough rope. This sounds like a way of regaining control over you & hurting you rather than concern for the best welfare of his child but you must play the game with the system. I'm sure he will get fed up jumping through the hoops. Please do check out that Solicitor though. All the very best for what is a traumatic & terrifying time for you. It's times like this that when you find out who your real friends are. Would love to know how things work out next month.