Heritage Album

AP's do you at times forget that your adopted children's genealogy, ethnicity, history is not yours?

My wife was looking for summer shirts for our son and she found some children size Guayabera. She made the comment, because I am part Puerto Rican, that he would be getting in touch with his roots. I said no he isn’t because as far as we know there is no Hispanic in his natural family. (There could be we honestly have no idea but I don’t think it is likely ) She honestly forgot she just feels like he is part of us and our heritage even though he has his own, even though we have no idea what it is. We adopted him from foster care we never met the mother and father was in jail. We have no medical or other history for him, race is obvious but ethnicity is another story. AP is adoptive parents meant to put this in adoption. Oh well you guys can answer also I am a little jaded from hanging out in the adoption section on YA. There is a hole nother thought on adoption over there. Kind of the flip side to the coin. I think it is great that she sees him like that. I do also but I don't want him to loose what he had but without knowing what it was I can't give that to him.

Public Comments

1. the adopted kids in my family don't care about their heritage... as far as they're concerned they are canadian and nothing more. my children on the other hand are convinced they are half haitian (my family now has more haitian adoptees then white biological members) and would much rather talk of their "haitian ethnicity" even though they have never set foot in Haiti. just do what your kid wants
2. I think that you need to accept your son as your own in every way. Yes he has different roots but what matters now that he is yours is that he feels accepted by you and sees that he is a part of you. My husband now has adopted my three children and we fully accept that they are his as the bio has no contact just as in a normal adoption. My children will learn of all three sides of their roots as time go's by. As far as your sons ethnicity, as you said you just don't know. So give him what you know and accept that even without your blood he still has your roots too!
3. I'm not an AP, but I have 5 step children that I encourage to celebrate St. Patty's with me every year. They are Puerto Rican and Ecuadorian. Since you don't know their roots, let them embrace yours. It will give them a sense on belonging....make them feel more like part of that family. I think it's great that your wife sees him the way she does.